Coffee First Adult Unisex TeeThere is a very specific order of operations in this house. Step one is non negotiable. Step two involves keeping small humans alive. Do not reverse the sequence. The Details: Blue circular badge design with arched text reading "Coffee First" across the top and "Then Parenting" across the bottom, separated by star accents. In the center, a retro cartoon coffee mug character with a smiling face, steam splashing from the top, and hands throwing peace

Green retro bubble text arched across the top reads "Son Of A" with a colorful illustration of a witch riding a broomstick below

Black drippy horror text reads "Monsters" above and "Beware Of Me" below

Caller ID is irrelevant when you are two

Vintage food label parody style with a retro Americana aesthetic

blue block text reads "Poopypants" with "19 Co 47" beneath

Parenthood is the original thriller

"Check In Anytime" in script

with "SERVED HERE" in smaller italic capitals underneath

Single color print with a strong

White ribbon banners read "Can" and "Of" on either side of the can

the text reads "I Do It For The Ho's" in an ornate Old English gothic font with a gold/brown color and dark outline

of Tax Treasury" followed by red text reading "Deduction